By Bob Van Domelen
January 2012
31 but those who hope in the Lord, will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40.31)
I recently received a letter that stopped me in my tracks because of a single sentence. “Tell me if you have settled for too little of what God can do, or am I living hoping for a lie.” Basically, my response was “I have not settled for too little nor have I failed to ask God for everything. I simply trust God to provide me what I need each and every day. So far I cannot say I have been disappointed.”
His question is not really unique. Any person who has come face to face with personal weakness, acknowledged change was needed, and honestly took steps to bring about that change at some point prays, “God, take this all away.” But not many conclude that prayer with “but if you won’t do it, then I will stop believing because healing and change are all just a lie. I am what I am.”
Can God bring about complete change in someone’s life? Yes. Does everyone who asks for change eventually see a complete absence of their attractions and the associated sins? There are some who do but to answer the question directly, no, not everyone experiences complete change. Am I showing a lack of faith by answering as I just have? I don’t believe that I am.
If healing is defined by the absence of any or all temptation, then I might as well throw in the towel right now. As much as I love the Lord, there are still temptations and even failures. I am not referring only to age-inappropriate attraction; I am referring to all of the things I do that fall short of God’s plan for my life. Before some of you suggest I am straying from the point, let me explain.
Even as a teenager, I knew that there was no such thing as this one big issue I called my major sin. My one big issue was fed by a lot of other much easier to ignore smaller issues. I often didn’t know how to deal with everyday situations, the kind everyone has, without resorting to feelings of self-centeredness, anger, frustration, loneliness, etc. As a result, my feeling sorry for me opened the door to behaviors I considered rewards or justifications, and those eventually became behaviors of choice and some even addictive behaviors.
In a sense then, the prayer “Lord, take away this sin that so destroys me” is pointed at the “big” sin but fails to recognize all of the contributing conditions that over time made the big sin possible in the first place.
The letters I get from those experiencing the most success in their daily walk while in prison are from those who are paying attention to the smaller, often forgotten or overlooked issues. They recognize loneliness and look for healthy responses to that loneliness. Pornography, masturbation, and sexual encounters in the bathroom late at night don’t heal loneliness. Those choices only mask their loneliness with physical distraction.
They recognize legitimate anger, relationship conflicts, and depression for what they are and not as an excuse to believe that God has abandoned them. Sometimes “Lord, help me to tolerate my cell mate” is answered by a change in cell mates. Even better, sometimes that prayer is answered by a change in the person causing the conflict, so the response “Thank you, Lord” feels appropriate. But in the end, the changes we seek often start with changes in us, not in the other person.
Those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength
Prayer is communication with God, words of praise, and words of petition. Communication is conversation with God, not unlike sitting with a friend sharing something of common interest. It’s both talking and listening but when the words are finished, the end of the conversation is okay because conversation is mostly about being with one another and sharing.
We best understand praise of God as a sincere expression of thanksgiving—recognizing God’s love, mercy, and faithfulness in our lives. The best times of worship for me are those when I forget me and have complete focus on God. I wish that state of mind happened all the time, but it doesn’t. I get in the way of myself at times.
Petition is at the heart of this article and indeed at the heart of the letter to which I responded. But asking God for something isn’t like asking something of a friend. When we ask a friend, we sit back and wait for the friend to do what we ask.
When we ask something of God, we can’t sit back because God is a nudging God. It’s not that God cannot make the miracle that meets our petition. I think God knows what we really need, however, and that we need to do it for ourselves. God nudges us, reminds us of something we should do that we had not thought of doing, and then encourages us to see that His nudge IS the answer.
Strength comes from exercise—either muscle or mind—and repetition of anything healthy will renew us and restore us. Choosing to walk away whenever conversations become inappropriate is not always easy, but the more we do it the better we become at seeking the best, not the worst.
Choosing to change the channel or, better still, to avoid TV programs that present images reminding us of our past behaviors will bring us to eventually reject any image that holds us to darkness rather than light. But it takes time and it takes repetition for these choices to become first choices.
In this respect, “Please heal me, Lord, and take away those things I wish were gone forever” is being answered one step at a time, one day at a time, and with a reliance on God for the continuing strength to grow. Healing does not happen in an instant, but it does happen.
Soar on wings like eagles; Run and not grow weary;
Walk and not be faint
Why is it that we think the word “hope” is a poor word, one lacking in faith or in belief of God? Why is it we see God in human terms, ignoring us or denying us, simply because there is no obvious response to our prayers? Doesn’t “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” mean just what it says?
I do believe that God meets all of our needs, heals our broken souls, loves us beyond imagination, and calls us to be with Him for all eternity. I believe it but I am not always sure how everything will come to pass. And in some ways, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.
I want my heart and spirit to soar, though some days I feel leaden and not able to get off the ground. I want to run and not grow weary, but with age come body changes that make running more difficult. And though I want to walk and not grow faint, more than anything I want my walk to be with the Lord. I want to go where He leads.
Yes, there are days when you might believe yourself to have taken steps backward or not taken steps at all. Your temptations might encourage the thought that you have no chance of change. You might look around and feel completely abandoned by family, friends, and even God. But for those who hope and are willing to continue the journey, there is always healing. There is always change.